Yesterday a powerful nor’easter rode rough all day and late into the night.
Strong wind gusts took down power lines. Lightning streaked through the dark sky. Trees were at the mercy of harsh sustained winds. Cold rain hammered with a force that created leaks in our snug and dry home. The salt pond edging our road was an angry surge of white caps and steel gray waves.
As the storm worsened, my middle daughter received a phone call that a young man in her very close-knit group of friends had died. About an hour later, I received a phone call that an older married couple, who were a great faith presence in our church, and a tremendous source of love and strength for me personally, had died of coronavirus.
Heartbreaking.
And it was my birthday.
What happened yesterday – the storm, loss and grief, uncertainty unfolding day after day after day and the challenge to remain resilient and hope-filled – was truly a bitter icon of what families in the midst of addiction crisis experience over the long haul.
For families struggling with addiction are families who know the storm, know loss and know life can unravel in a split second.
And they know it all too well.
In the weeks since this virus began tossing our lives hither and yon, I have thought of how much it is an awful metaphor for life in a family system riddled with substance use disorder.
What played out for me yesterday with the dangerous storm and the death of cherished friends while being isolated from loved ones on my birthday just brought that difficult icon into waaaaay too sharp a focus.
Everything I ever learned from an amazing array of wisdom sources during the years my family contended with the systems disease of substance use disorder roaring through our lives taught me powerful strategies for living with resilience and hope.
And the mantra that kept me going all those years into this time now is pretty damn simple:
Lemons to lemonade.
Lemons to lemonade.
Lemons to lemonade.
The mantra is simple. But living that mantra daily is an intentional spiritual practice.
A day at a time.
Prayer.
Love.
Service.
Gratitude.
Hope.
Yesterday it meant remembering the day was just 24 hours long. Praying in the midst of difficult circumstances. Reaching out to those who are grieving. Helping my family get the house storm proof. Being very grateful to my husband and daughters for making dinner and setting up a birthday cake, candle and card for me. And sticking to the script of a family tradition on birthdays that we call “Memories,” remembering happy moments we shared together throughout the years.
Lemons to lemonade.
Lemons to lemonade.
Lemons to lemonade.
How do you practice lemons to lemonade in the midst of thechallenges in your life?
What helps keep hope alive for your family?
Please share here. We can all benefit from the wisdom of our collective experience, strength and hope. Thank you!
Connect With Nancy
For information and guidance for help and resources for you or your loved one please email: info@nancyvericker.com
Nancy is co-author of Unchained: Our Family’s Addiction Mess Is Our Message.
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